


What Killed Him

by Solnam



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Headcanon, M/M, Pacifist Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Canon, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Suicide, Tragedy, Unrequited Hate, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solnam/pseuds/Solnam
Summary: Connor-60 who killed Connor-51 comes to Hank.Connor-60 loves Hank but Hank hates him, because Hank loves Connor-51 but Connor-60 killed him.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Hank Anderson/Connor, Hank Anderson/Connor/CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Hank Anderson/CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	What Killed Him

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [What Killed Him](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/622135) by 솔남. 



> Trigger warning : self-harm, suicide, Emotional Abuse  
> I am not a native English speaker.  
> I'm Korean. This is the very first time that I wrote a fanfic in English.  
> I wrote it in Korean 4 month ago, and then I translated it into English yesterday, so there can be awkward sentences.  
> If you find out those awkward sentences, please let me know, then I'll correct them.  
> Sorry for my bad English.  
> If you are interested in Korean, you can also read this fic in Korean.  
> I added the URL.  
> Spoiler alert(?)  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
> This is Post-Canon, it takes place after Markus Peaceful route, Connor at the CyberLife Tower - Rescue Hank - Timeout route.  
> Connor-60 in this fic is very different from him in Canon... I think so...  
> and... Simon is dead in this fic... I'm sorry...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


>   
>  He really liked you, Lieutenant.
> 
> That's what killed him.
> 
>   
> 

  
The other Connor, who shot Connor 11 times and killed him, left these words just before he left Hank. He said Connor's feeling of liking Hank killed Connor. The words got stuck in Hank's head and kept tortured him. Those words brought him greater sense of guilt and regret. Hank continued to think, closing the eyes of Connor and holding him in his arms.

'If only I hadn't been fooled stupidly, if only I had moved a little faster and taken his gun away, if only I hadn't been involved in this from the first, Connor would have succeeded in what he was trying to do and survived.'

He kept thinking about it while looking at Markus, who led to successful results, thanks to the steady peaceful protests.

'Connor could have stood by his side in recognition of his contribution to the liberation of his own people.'

>   
>  He really liked you, Lieutenant.
> 
> That's what killed him.
> 
>   
> 

  
It was such a cruel remark. The other Connor left Hank alive, but the words he left slowly killed Hank. Only if he could meet the scumbag again, he wanted to ask him,

"Why? Why did you have to tell me that?"

It was so natural to spend every day under the influence of alcohol. One night, Hank was so drunk that he was finally trying to do another Russian roulette. A loud bell rang out. Hank tried to ignore it at first, but this guy kept pressing on the doorbell. Hank was annoyed and opened the door to check his face. As soon as he opened the door and checked his face, Hank had no choice but to harden.

"...Connor?"

Hank thought he was drunk so he was looking at a ghost. Because Connor's dead. However, it was only for a short time that alcohol clouded his judgment. Hank noticed immediately at the next moment.

'This guy... is not Connor.'

As soon as he thought of it, he grabbed him by the collar.

"You... you, you piece of shit... What the hell are you doing here?"

Connor-Hank never wanted to admit it, but he was also Connor in the end-, hesitating, shining a red LED, managed to open his mouth.

"...because this is the only place I can go."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Hank. I-I realized it only when I refused to shoot Markus on the podium. I'm also Deviant. I thought it was just inherited memory, but it is actually my feeling."

Hank didn't want to hear the words that followed. Because Hank knew what this shit was going to say. But this guy opens his mouth again, eye contacting with Hank. Those brown eyes looked exactly the same with the eyes that Hank liked.

"...I like you, Hank. I can't live without you. I've wanted to meet you since I realized my feelings, but I didn't have the courage to meet you because you wouldn't forgive me. But... I am also Connor. I have all the memories I've had with-"

Connor couldn't finish his sentence. Because Hank, who was pissed off when he was told, "I'm also Connor.", pushed him hard. So he fell back and sank to the ground.

"Get the fuck out."

Connor slowly raised his head, shining the red LED, and only looked at Hank with sorrowful eyes.

"Didn't you hear me? You want me to tell you again? Get out of my sight. Right now."

Then he slammed the door shut. Hank was sobered up. He exhaled his breath with anger.

'Why does he have the same face and the same voice?'

Because of that point, Hank was swayed for a very short time, so he was disgusted with himself. He entered the washroom to wash his face to recover his senses, and then he showered. Then he went to his bed, trying to fell asleep. But he couldn't have fallen asleep. Connor didn't ring the doorbell again.

'Maybe he went back. Go back? Where? He said here is the only place to go. God damn it, why should I care about it?'

At this rate, he felt like he was going to stay up all night with open eyes. However, he fell asleep in the end, perhaps because he drank.

And the next day, Hank, who came out of the door to go to work, almost fell down in surprise.

"Oh, fuck!"

Because Connor was standing by the door.

'Is that what he's been doing all night?'

"What the hell are you doing!? You are so creepy!"

The LED's color was yellow and then became red again. He didn't say anything.

"Don't you understand 'get out of my sight'? Don't come infront of me."

"...Hank, I have nowhere else to go except by your side..."

"It's none of my business. Find it yourself. Or go ask Markus for help!"

It seemed liked he suggested a very kind alternative for him, but Hank thought Connor would stand there for days if he wouldn't say so. Fortunately, he disappeared when Hank came back from work. Maybe he really went to Markus.

A few days later, Hank found out that Connor really visited Markus. He didn't want to know much, but he had no choice but to know. He also cursed himself because the kind alternative he provided put himself in a shitty situation.

"Why is this fucking prick here!?"

Captain Fowler began to explain.

"Because he is the only investigative android, no, detective android who is left. CyberLife can't produce androids anymore. Markus said that to investigate the crime of loathing for androids, we have to have an android detective. He is right."

Hank put his hands on the table and said, thrusting his face into Fowler.

"Jeffrey, this son of bitch killed Connor! But you want me to work with him now?"

Fowler shouted, feeling some sort of deja vu.

"Jesus, Hank! You volunteered! You said you can't just see the scumbags that still cause android hate crimes! Then you should have been prepared to work with a detective android! Besides, I thought you'd be happy to see Connor again!"

"Of course I don't care working with a detective android! The problem is, of all things, the detective android is this bastard! You said he's Connor? He's not Connor! The real Connor is dead! In front of me, he was shot by this bastard 11 times! Connor, who was my partner, is totally different!"

"Different? Okay, that's a good one. That Connor you are talking about... He killed two humans when he infiltrated CyberLife. On the other hand, what about this guy in front of us? He's never been like that."

Fowler said, pointing to Connor standing upright behind Hank. Without regard, Hank just stared at Fowler and shouted because he didn't even want to look at Connor.

"It's... it's because if he didn't, he would be killed!"

"He could have fainted them, and he didn't have to infiltrate at the first! Markus was doing great on his own! You know how Markus successfully got good public opinion! It was always thanks to peaceful protests! He didn't kill a single person when he infiltrated the Stratford Tower! I'm sure we'd have run into opposition when an android who killed humans tries to work equally as a detective."

Hank was so angry. He was furious, but there was nothing more to say. He just inhaled with anger, and then stormed out the door and left. Connor, who was just listening carefully to the conversation, told Fowler.

"...Thank you, Captain."

Fowler shrugged and replied.

"I was just trying to get things moving. Close the door when you go out."

Connor closed the door quietly and came out.

Hank and Connor headed to the scene. Connor followed Hank's footsteps. Hank look askance at him, but fortunately he didn't ignore what Connor said about the incident. After Connor's analysis, he found where the suspect was, and was able to quickly arrest him.

At lunchtime, Hank headed for Chicken Feed. Connor, who was sitting next to him in the car, agonized a little, followed him down and stood next to Hank.

"What is your problem? You don't have to...."

Hank cut off his words instead of trying to say it.

>   
>  You don't have to follow me around like a poodle.
> 
>   
> 

Because what he was going to say and the current situation was too similar to that situation.

"...I have something to tell you."

'What should I do if he doesn't even listen to this?'

Thinking like that, Connor said, with the LED ring painted yellow. But Hank asked Connor as if there was any change in his mind.

"...what is it?"

"As I said before, I have no place to live. So..."

"Don't lie. You went to Markus for help! You really don't have anywhere to go?"

"I'm not lying. Markus introduced me a job, that's all. No matter how great he is, he can't give all those android people a house. Shelters like Jericho are now blown up and none is left."

"Then where the hell all those androids live?"

"It's different for each individual. I heard that there are many people who have made up with the owner who bought them and have become family members. Or they stay anywhere, like, on the roads. So... your house is the only place I can go. I won't ask for much. I don't need to lie down and sleep, so I can just stand..."

It was so pathetic at this point.

'But... but... Do I have to live with him? Can there be anything else like that terrible?'

Connor went on to say, as if he read Hank's mind.

"I'm not thinking about going inside the house. It's enough to stand in the garden."

"..........Do as you please."

But that evening, it started to rain, and at night, the rain became heavier. Hank couldn't help but paying attention.

'Do androids feel cold, too? No? I don't think so. Damn it, why am I caring this!'

Hank was a man who couldn't help but caring about this. So he opened the curtain of the window and looked out.

Connor was standing in the garden as he told Hank. He could have avoided the rain, but he was getting wet, foolishly, with his eyes closed. 

"...shit..."

Eventually Hank took his umbrella and put it on him. He shook Connor up.

"You stupid fool! Get up!"

Connor opened his eyes. He looked puzzled as if he was not aware of the situation.

"...come in. I don't intend to give you a room. Sleep on the sofa."

Connor soon smiled and followed Hank into the house.

So one day, two days, a week... Over time, their relationship seemed to be getting better. Until something happened.

On that day, when Hank and Connor arrived at the scene, what Hank and Connor saw was an android, who had been killed by multiple bullets in a kneeling position. It was very similar to what Hank saw when Connor died. Hank froze. Connor saw Hank's figure and noticed what Hank was thinking. He thought he should not provoke Hank, so he purposely focused on investigating the case, separated with Hank. They found the suspect who was hiding at the end.

The suspect, as an androidphobe, shot Connor as soon as he saw his LED ring. Connor avoided all the bullets. In that time, Hank tried to attack the suspect, and this time the suspect also shot Hank. Then Connor saved Hank. Instead, he was shot, but fortunately there was no damage to biocomponents and didn't spill much Thirium. Hank didn't say anything. He didn't look at Connor, didn't thank him. He even pushed out Connor who was protecting him as if he wanted to get away with him quickly. This was something Connor didn't expect. He was quite shocked, because Hank was so different from the memory Connor had. Connor thought he'd be worried no matter what.

>   
>  This morning, when we were chasing those Deviants, why didn't you want me to cross the highway?
> 
> Cause you could have been killed... and, and, I don't like to doing out paperworks for damaged equipments.
> 
> Connor, Connor! You alright? Connor!
> 
> Are you hurt?
> 
> Jesus, oh, you scared shit out of me...
> 
> For fucks sake, I told you not to move! Why you would never do what I say?
> 
>   
> 

Hank was so different from what he looked like in Connor's memory. Although he was not honest, he sometimes spoke harshly, but he was always worried about Connor when he was in danger. In the meantime, while Connor was in shock, Hank finished with the suspect and arrested him.

That night, Connor read Hank's countenance and wondered if he could really go inside the house, but eventually followed him. Hank didn't say a word. Until he get drunk and drink up. When it reached the point where he couldn't even count how many drinks he had, Connor tried to stop Hank. But Hank opened his mouth a little faster than Connor.

"...why did you do that?"

It was a question that has so many connotations, so Connor could not easily answer. So while Connor hesitated, Hank added.

"Why you tricked me, why you took me hostage and killed Connor, yes, fuck! I don't want to understand but I know, I know! I know that! Until then, you were just a fucking machine that obeys orders! Well, you were just a machine, it wasn't even your mission, then why did you say that?"

>   
>  He really liked you, Lieutenant.
> 
> That's what killed him.
> 
>   
> 

The LED turned red. He couldn't answer anything. At that time, Connor thought the attachment he inherited in his memory was foolish and useless. He died because of his useless feelings, he just thought so. He didn't even know why he had to say it out loud.

"No, no. Were you really a machine at the time? Weren't you already Deviant at that time? Tell me. Why did you shoot him 11 times and kill him so cruelly?"

At that time, Connor thought he should not disappoint Amanda. He was proud of himself for obeying orders better than the other one. He also felt superior. However, if he were a real machine, he would have not even feel that way. Hank was right. Maybe he was already Deviant at that time.

When the mission was successful and then he got a new mission to shoot Markus, he tried to carry it out. But... suddenly, he thought like this.

'Killing Markus would make Hank hate me.'

It was strange. Suddenly, Hank's priority was higher than Amanda's. And then he realized that he was Deviant. That stupid memory was also his own feelings. At the same time, he realized what he had done. He felt hopeless because he realized that, by killing the other Connor, he already made Hank hate him. He also felt guilty. But at the same time, he also felt a sense of anticipation that maybe, maybe, maybe, he could take the position. Now that he thinks like this, the answer came out as to why he shot the other Connor so cruelly that day. Maybe it was because of jealousy. But if he say "I was just jealous.", how would Hank react? It was something that could never be answered.

Deviants with high stress levels can hurt themselves. In severe cases, it leads to self-destruction. And now, Connor was Deviant with a very high stress level. So soon he began to bang his head on the table. Thirium flowed down from his forehead.

"What the hell are you doing!? Stop right now!"

Hank hated that guy so much. He hated him unbearably. But he couldn't see him hurting himself with that face.

"I told you to stop!"

Hank picked up Connor's head. Only then Connor stopped hurting himself and looked at Hank and asked.

"Are you... worried about me?"

"What?"

No, I'm not worried about you. I just hate you doing that with that face. He was going to say so. But he thought he'd keep seeing him doing that if he do, so Hank was quiet for a while. Hank dropped Connor's head. Connor was also quite silent. And then Connor made a totally wrong judgement.

Connor kept hurting himself day by day. At first, he hit his head, but now he's starting to slit his arm with a knife. He also intentionally kept the Thirium level low.

"Shit, stop it! Stop it!"

But Connor liked that Hank cares about him so much. So he couldn't stop.

"...please call me Connor. Then I'll stop."

Yes, spending over times together, Hank never called him Connor. Hank was silent. He just stared at Connor with a very angry look on his face. Then, he took out his gun and aimed his own temple.

"How about this?"

"Don't, please don't, Hank. I'm sorry."

Connor put the knife down. Hank also put his gun down. That's how it went that day.

Connor was not in a condition to work. Fowler, who was told all the stories from Hank, said.

"Is it okay to live you two together?"

"Now you want me to kick him out?"

"Well, you said you don't want to see him."

"If I kick him out, he'll really die then! I'm already feeling guilty enough for Cole, and Connor!"

"My God, Hank..."

Fowler had nothing more to say. It was a very terrible situation where there seemed to be no solution. He just added that he was sorry and the conversation was over. At the same time, Fowler was very worried that this unhealthy relationship might bring some tragedy.

One day, Connor said, pointing to the numbers listed under the RK800 of the clothes he is wearing.

"I don't know what the big difference is. The difference between me, and him? It is just... these serial numbers! That's all! It's just a little difference! Then why can't I be your partner?"

The words were enough to provoke Hank's anger again.

"What? What did you just say? Are you really asking that because you really don't know that!"

Connor and Hank's stress levels were too high. Hank even felt suicidal again.

'I'd rather die. Then this hellish life is over.'

Connor picked up a knife from the kitchen, and Hank found his gun. However, Connor had already got rid of the bullets, so not a single bullet had been loaded. Connor's self-harm has begun again. Too much Thirium flowed down.

"Damn it... God damn it, stop it!!"

Hank grabbed Connor's arm. However, Connor was already clearly dying, as he normally kept the Thirium level low and dropped more Thirium. The brown eyes were filled with water. Soon tears flowed over.

"Why... why didn't you love me... I am Connor you loved..."

The flashing red LED completely went out before agitated Hank could say anything. The brown eyes were still open, looking at Hank. The eyes, filled with reproach and longing, seemed to be saying like this.

_I really liked you, Hank._

_Though that's what killed me._

Hank realized he could never forget those eyes until he dies.


End file.
